


Flowers for River Song

by Auginess



Series: From the Doctor, with love [1]
Category: Doctor Who (2005)
Genre: Angst, F/M, Flowers, I want you to cry, Love, Love Confessions, Love songs, Pain, Poetry, they love each other so much I'm dying
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-05-07
Updated: 2017-05-07
Packaged: 2018-10-29 02:03:23
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,399
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10844205
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Auginess/pseuds/Auginess
Summary: River Song recieves a bouquet of flowers, as always, without a card, without a name. And she wonders who can be her secret lover.The Doctor loves her too much to tell her.





	Flowers for River Song

**Author's Note:**

> Hi!  
> English is not my first language and this is not betad, so basically, if you find any mistake feel free to correct me <3

The first time he did it he knew it was so, so wrong.

In his defence he could say he spent hours in the Tardis, talking himself against it. But the sole thought of her smiling was more than enough incline the balance towards the (probably) catastrophic irresponsibility.

In his defence he could as well say that he regretted it almost instantly.

Who the fuck gives a teenager flowers to reminisce the anniversary of their first kiss? Apparently him.

And while the Doctor promised to himself to never do that again, River Song was waking up to a beautiful bouquet of red roses. And for no reason at all, she started crying.

And, of course, the promised was broken the exact minute the Doctor learned that River treasured that morning as one of her happiest days. Even after her flowers were cruelly burned.

Flowers became something usual for River Song since that day. Always with a blue lace and no card, no name.

::::::::::::::::::::

The first time a poetry book came with the flowers it was her eighteen birthday. A love poem was marked.

She learnt it by heart that same night.

Obviously Amelia teased her with her secret admirer the rest of the day, the month and the year, but she couldn’t care less.

Since that day on, Amy insisted on waiting for the secret admirer on the days he usually left the flowers like one waited for Santa Claus on Christmas eve.

But they always fell asleep. And by the time they awoke, the flowers were there.

And if River was lucky enough, another poem.

::::::::::::::::::::::::::

The last time Amelia helped her to wait for her admirer was the week before her wedding.

“Ever heard the danger of meeting someone too early, dear? Is as fatal as meeting them too late. Whoever sends you those flowers loves you, but is waiting. You’ll have to wait too” She said. And it felt like she knew a bit too much.

But wait she did, because deep inside she knew she was right.

And flowers kept coming. And another boy came as well. With a stupid bowtie and an even stupider smile.

An idiot, so unlike how she imagined her admirer, but that somehow stole her heart.

:::::::::::::::::

The first time a love song came with the flowers, River was already studying Archaeology.

In an old CD with some old earth music were recorded twelve songs that soon became her favourites.

12 songs she made sure to dance with the Doctor, letting herself imagine that he was the one who send her the flowers.

::::::::::::

The first time she woke up in Stormcage, flowers flooded the cell.

And knowing she was loved, knowing she was not alone, made much easier waiting for her husband to come at night.

:::::::::::::::::::

The first time River told the Doctor about the flowers they were having a picnic in Asgard, and she was honestly hopping he will acknowledge being the mysterious admirer.

However he just laughed and said that he was actually surprised she only had two men dying for her love, being as amazing as she was.

He could never explain to himself why he lied to her that day.

:::::::::::::

The last time River received flowers she had been 24 years without receiving them. Not that she was complaining, now that she was living with the Doctor, falling asleep in his arms every night and waking up with his head between her legs every morning.

She was showering at their home in Darillium, excitedly telling her husband about a new job in a library, when out of the blue he asked about the flowers.

“Who sent them to you River? Did you ever discovered?”

“I imagined him, which was enough”. She said, stepping out of the bathtub and getting dressed “At first he was blonde and tall. Blue eyes”.

“And then?”

She didn’t answer, not knowing how to say that then she started imaging him without making it sound like a reproach.

Anyways, any coherent possible answer was erased from her mind when she entered her bedroom, where he was waiting, and saw a bouquet with every single flower she had ever received, every poem and every song carefully copied in light blue paper.

And she knew two things then.

One, it has always been the Doctor.

 Two, she was going to die.

“Why didn’t you tell me?” She whispered.

“Because I am not the man you deserve. And I can’t be him. So I just tried to make him up for you. And I knew that if I told you, I would be him, but just for a few minutes, but if kept it secret, you’ll always have him”

“Why are you telling me now then?” But she already knew the answer.

“Because I” _I couldn’t let you die without knowing you’re loved — by so many and so much —_ and by no one more than me. “Because I love you” He said instead “And no matter what I want you to remember that I would rather live in a world without sky that without you”. So sad he didn’t have much of an option.

River tried with all she got not to cry, but failed miserably as she threw herself into his arms and kissed him between tears.

She always thought she would be able to face death without fear, but she never imagined the pain of losing everything. Of losing him. Forever.

The Doctor was crying too and she whispered his name, trying to soothe both of them.

Both of them lost the track of time, until shy sunlight came through the window, for the first time in 24 years.

“I have to go” She muttered, the most difficult words she has ever said. But if she wanted the Doctor to meet her, she didn’t have an option. And even though she knew that death will be painful, all the happiness she had felt with him by her said was worth it.

“Stay. Time can be-“

“Don’t even suggest it” And he had to kiss her knuckles to refrain himself from telling her that that wasn’t the only time she was hearing it today.

“I’ll wait you for dinner”. He said instead, voice as full of joy and mundanity as he could make it. Because it was easier that way. For her, at least.

 She smiled.

“You’d better”. And she blew him a kiss, because she knew that if she kissed him one last time she was not leaving.

And with that she was gone.

And their house had never had so much light, but it had never felt so dark, so he left, unable to look at the flowers, the poems and the songs. It wasn’t until he locked the Tardis door he let himself fell to the floor.

And he cried every dawn and every dusk until no more tears fell from his eyes. But the pain didn’t subdued and if it wasn’t because he could hear the beating, he would have assumed both hearts had stopped.

::::::::::::

The first time the Doctor bought flowers after River’s death he didn’t even knew what to do with them, so he took them to the library, because it was where everything started and ended. And because River was still there.

And maybe, just maybe, she could see them.

:::::::::::

The first time the Library was opened since the Vashta Nerada there were no books left. And no Vashta Nerada left either.  

And the first thing the explorers saw when they entered the Library were hundreds of dried flowers bouquets and one that was still fresh.

Every single bouquet had a blue card saying

_To River, From your Doctor_

:::::::::::::

Years after the reopening of the Library it was full of life, joy and knowledge. Everything had changed inside, or almost everything anyways.

Because periodically a weird man came and left flowers, music and poetry under the big moon.

And if someone asked why, he’d say to make her smile.

And if someone asked why she never came to pick the presents, he always answered that loving her was like loving the stars themselves, and that he dind't expect the sunset to admire him back.

And if anyone asked who River was, he’d never stop talking.

And hundreds of times mental health services were called to hospitalise him, but he always run faster, just to return a few months later.  

**Author's Note:**

> Thanks for reading!  
> If you like it please leave me a comment, they keep me writing <3  
> This fanfic was inspired by this old spanish song, in case you're wondering https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=F4_0FkGInMk  
> Have a nice week!


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